


Happy Little Pill.

by AnarchyHasFallen



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 23:30:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12046560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnarchyHasFallen/pseuds/AnarchyHasFallen
Summary: inspired by Troye Sivan's "Happy Little Pill"after a tragic breakup, Vriska turns to drugs. misfortune follows.





	Happy Little Pill.

'In the crowd alone, and every second passing reminds me I'm not whole.'  
  
Everything reminds me of her. The way she laughed is written on the walls, the way she smiled is scarred into my arms, the way I cried seemed to be tattooed into my own face.  
  
It was definitely time for a night out. Or... a night in. Bottle after bottle was popped open until I couldn't even feel myself. I poured so many liquids down my throat god I do not want to feel, everything in my body was rotting slowly but I didn't care I just don't want to feel her anymore, all over my body lay her warm hands and the way her nails dug gently in my skin when she got excited, the way her lips felt on mine DEAR. LORD. I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL HER. I can't unfeel but dear god if I said the alcohol and cigarettes didn't help I'd be lying. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to just leave it all and abandon my emotions, my friends, abandon EVERYTHING just to get away from her touches. Get her off me dear lord please get her off me, get her off my mind, my soul, my heart, remove her touches and please just help me.  
  
I need out. I want to rip my skin off just so I can't feel her anymore. I don't want her warm breath on my neck, her soft lips on mine, I don't want to feel her hands on my thighs, I don't even want to feel her text messages fly across my fingers and the stupid little heart emoji that my thumb glided over, deciding on a shitty color for an even shittier relationship.   
  
I need to leave my home, even for a second.  
  
'Bright lights and city sounds are ringing like a drone. Unknown, unknown.'  
  
Even sitting on the steps of a sidewalk crying, I still feel so trapped inside her. I can still feel her hair and I can feel her breasts, I can hear her still, not only in my mind either. In my ears as well. I can hear cars zoom past and my ears picked up every little sound, even you. I hear her laughing with her friends and I hear her sigh as she finishes her gorgeous, enticing laugh.  
  
'Oh, glazed eyes, empty hearts. Buying happy from shopping carts.'  
  
She loved me. I loved her.  
Why wasn't that enough for her?  
  
And as I stumble my way back inside, I feel myself crying again. It's time for something new. Something better, something stronger.  
  
One. Two. Three. Another hit, god bless it. And as my high sky rockets my mind, I feel myself calm down. Everything feels fine again.  
  
Until I hear her voice, her memories flood my head.  
"Don't breathe it in like that baby."  
"You're wastin' the damn weed."  
"How d'ya feel, gorgeous? High yet."  
  
No escape. No fucking escape from her.  
  
'Nothing but time to kill, sipping life from bottles.'  
  
The whole place wreaks of her. Her scent fills my nose. I have to get away ftom here. Another moment and I'll go absolutely mad.  
  
I stumble down the street and hope for the best. Suddenly, a gorgeous club appears. Everything all lit up and absolutely breathtaking.  
  
As soon as I walk in I'm greeted with many people offering me drinks, drugs, anything they could think of. It was obvious I was drunk and pretty much down for everything. I took the first drink that was offered and downed it as fast as I could. It burnt and I absolutely adored it. I needed to forget.  
  
'Tight skin, bodyguards, Gucci down the boulevard, cocaine, dollar bills.'  
  
And at once, everything collapsed.  
  
Meenah. Meenah. Meenah.  
  
Oh dear god.  
Get her off my mind please.  
  
Tears again.  
More. I need more dear lord, please help me keep these feelings down.  
  
'And.'  
  
'My happy little pill.'  
  
The perfect thing seemed to be literally sitting right in front of me. Risky? Yes. Did I care? No.  
  
I popped it easily and took a long gulp. BAM.  
  
I could feel colours and everything around me colliding. I felt myself shift and move in ways I didn't even think I could.  
  
'Take me away. Dry my eyes. Bring color to my skies. My sweet little pill. Tame my hunger. Lie within. Numb my skin.'  
  
I felt nothing and everything all at once. I stopped hearing her and I could only hear me. Tears were still filling my eyes but I couldn't control them at all. I didn't know what I was feeling but it was in my veins. It pumped through my heart, my soul, I felt...something inside my veins and goddamn it felt absolutely stellar.  
  
'Like a rock I float.'  
  
And suddenly nothing. My eyes shut.  
  
'Sweat and conversations seep into my bones.'  
  
I feel weightless. I feel.  
  
'Four walls are not enough.'  
  
Marvelous.  
  
'I'll take a dip into the unknown, unknown.'  
  
M. A. R. V. E. L. O. U. S.  
  
'Oh, glazed eyes, empty hearts. Buying happy from shopping carts.'  
  
Nothing.  
  
'Nothing but time to kill, sipping life from bottles.'  
  
I see her face.  
  
'Tight skin, bodyguards. Gucci down the boulevard. Cocaine dollar bills.'  
  
Her beautiful face.  
  
'And.'  
  
I feel.  
  
'My happy little pill.'  
  
Nothing.  
  
'Take me away, dry my eyes.'  
  
Is it over?  
  
'Bring color to my skies.'  
  
Oh god. What have I done?  
  
'My sweet little pill.'  
  
She wasn't worth it.  
  
'Tame my hunger.'  
  
Oh dear god, I'm so afraid.  
Please tell me I haven't made a mistake, I don't want to die so soon. Not over her. I don't want to hear her voice, see her smile, I didn't want to think of her anymore. But ending it like this? God, no. I never wanted it like this. Never.  
  
I'm sorry.  
I'm so sorry.  
  
'Light within.'  
  
"I love you."  
  
'Numb my skin.'


End file.
